Sunday, March 20, 2011

A mama dilemma

My life is a constant dilemma.  What is the best way to spend my time, my money, my life??

I always think, should I let the house work go to crap and spend all of my extra time with my kiddo?  That is a constant thought in my mind as a working mom.  I hate working.  I completely admit it.  I love the paycheck and not feeling like we are drowning every single month but I hate being away from my kid so much.  I hate it with a passion.  I feel guilty and wonder if he would be a much better kid if I was always home with him.  I feel like I could stay on top of discipline better if I was with him everyday.  I also realize at this age, it is good for him to interact with other kids to learn to share and play nicely. 

I especially struggle with this dilemma right now as we moved into our new house a month ago and we still have a lot or piles of stuff sitting around and I want to work on them so bad but I feel like when I do, I am ignoring my son.  I try to get as much stuff done during his naps as possible but they seem to go so fast and he is up before I know it every time! 

It's ok though.  Life is never perfect and I know despite my wanting it to be, our house will never be perfect either.  I can learn to accept that, even when it is hard.  I won't say this house is my 'dream house' but it is a lot closer to it than our last house and I had such high expectations for it.  So far it has almost lived up to my expectations but I need to let go of the 'ideal'  in my mind about what I want my house to be.  For one thing, it would take a whole lot more money for this house to be ideal and that is something we don't have and may not for a while.

Anyway, for now I will just do my best everyday to get stuff done and slowly get our house into order.  It may take a few more months for it to be fully organized as I continue to spend most of my extra time with the kiddo.  He's worth it!


  1. I have all of those same feelings about housework/child and where I spend the time. I also work but we are still nearly "drowning" when it comes to finances, so it's rather frustrating. I feel like I cannot win either way. Then when I try to catch up on the weekends, I feel like I should be w/my little guy instead. I totally get what you're saying.

    As for your comment you left me today...I'll shoot you over an email.

  2. Do what you can, but don't stress about it. There will always be stuff to do around the house. I split my time on weekends by working on house stuff in the morning and then the afternoons are spent on family and me time - it seems to work.