My life is a constant dilemma. What is the best way to spend my time, my money, my life??
I always think, should I let the house work go to crap and spend all of my extra time with my kiddo? That is a constant thought in my mind as a working mom. I hate working. I completely admit it. I love the paycheck and not feeling like we are drowning every single month but I hate being away from my kid so much. I hate it with a passion. I feel guilty and wonder if he would be a much better kid if I was always home with him. I feel like I could stay on top of discipline better if I was with him everyday. I also realize at this age, it is good for him to interact with other kids to learn to share and play nicely.
I especially struggle with this dilemma right now as we moved into our new house a month ago and we still have a lot or piles of stuff sitting around and I want to work on them so bad but I feel like when I do, I am ignoring my son. I try to get as much stuff done during his naps as possible but they seem to go so fast and he is up before I know it every time!
It's ok though. Life is never perfect and I know despite my wanting it to be, our house will never be perfect either. I can learn to accept that, even when it is hard. I won't say this house is my 'dream house' but it is a lot closer to it than our last house and I had such high expectations for it. So far it has almost lived up to my expectations but I need to let go of the 'ideal' in my mind about what I want my house to be. For one thing, it would take a whole lot more money for this house to be ideal and that is something we don't have and may not for a while.
Anyway, for now I will just do my best everyday to get stuff done and slowly get our house into order. It may take a few more months for it to be fully organized as I continue to spend most of my extra time with the kiddo. He's worth it!