All I can say is, I am having issues. Lots of them.
My health is not the best. I have been feeling down.
I'm not sure what to do. I don't know what to change, or maybe how to change.
I'm in a rut. Why are things so hard sometimes? Why can't life just be easy?
I know I'm the one who has to change my attitude and my behavior - no one else will do it for me.
Showing posts with label Money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Money. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Money Saving
I read this awesome blog every day and am inspired to try to do more to be frugal and save money.
I admit there are certain things I just won't (or didn't) do to save money. I refused to cloth diaper my son. I refuse to be like the crazy people on 'extreme couponing' and try to get $1000 worth of stuff for free. I won't grow my own garden, though I love the idea (I would kill every plant before they even had a chance).
But there are many things I will do or want to do. I've been wanting to try using a cash system, at least for several things. This last weekend was the first time we tried it out and though we have somewhat failed (spending more than our allotted amounts in some areas), it has already taught us some lessons (in three days time no less)! Lessons like, we don't need that 2nd (or 3rd) box of granola bars this week (we can buy it next week or the week after when we run out) and I don't need to buy a new shirt every three days (I have plenty in my closet already, I just need to use what I have and cycle through all of my clothes, not just my favorite ones).
We took cash out last Friday for two weeks of daycare because we pay our daycare provider every Monday, and we get paid every two weeks, so when that second week comes around, it always seems like a shock when another $130 is gone from our account. Going forward, I am going to start withdrawing the $260 needed for the next two weeks every time we get paid so the money is out of our account and accounted for and there are no surprises later.
We also took out cash for food. $80 for groceries for two weeks and $20 each for fun money, as well as $20 total for 'eating out' money. That's not a lot for two weeks so I told my husband we would have to eat at cheap places or not eat out at all. We are already out of the $20 for eat out money (go figure) so it forces us to think twice before we eat out again. I am not saying we will never go over the allotted amount, but it really makes us realize how much we are spending on eating out and think about it before we do it. Also, the $80 for groceries for two weeks is mostly gone also. I figured that would be a very low amount, but again, putting a limit (or trying to) on what we spend on groceries, makes me think twice about each purchase and if we really need it or can afford it. This is also forcing us to eat from the freezer/pantry to use up stuff we already have.
At some point, I would like to set up either a separate bank account for gift/holiday/special occasion money also as I am not sure cash is the best way to do this category. I admit with cash, I am a little afraid of losing it, it being stolen or the house burning down and it being gone (super unlikely I know, but don't want to have a ton of cash that we could lose somehow). I have heard of other people budgeting for gift money so when someones birthday comes up, they aren't surprised and don't have any extra money for a gift. I also want to start saving now for Christmas as the cost of gifts seems to shock me every year and I always spend more than I meant to.
I feel pretty good about the idea of the cash system though and even if we don't fully utilize the plan, we can make some changes to how we look at and spend money. I think this is a good attitude overall and will only help us in the long run.
I want to curb my spending big time. I think I just feel like I should be able to buy whatever I want, whenever I want, but that is not a good idea and also not practical. I want save more for the future and be able to pay off a few of our outstanding debts also.
I think most people want to feel this way, but I want to get to a point first where we feel comfortable with our cash flow most of the time and don't wonder if we will make it to the next paycheck. After that I want to get to a point where we would be fine if one or both of us lost our jobs for several months and not have to touch any of our retirement savings.
So, I suppose this is a starting point for all of that. Small steps.
I admit there are certain things I just won't (or didn't) do to save money. I refused to cloth diaper my son. I refuse to be like the crazy people on 'extreme couponing' and try to get $1000 worth of stuff for free. I won't grow my own garden, though I love the idea (I would kill every plant before they even had a chance).
But there are many things I will do or want to do. I've been wanting to try using a cash system, at least for several things. This last weekend was the first time we tried it out and though we have somewhat failed (spending more than our allotted amounts in some areas), it has already taught us some lessons (in three days time no less)! Lessons like, we don't need that 2nd (or 3rd) box of granola bars this week (we can buy it next week or the week after when we run out) and I don't need to buy a new shirt every three days (I have plenty in my closet already, I just need to use what I have and cycle through all of my clothes, not just my favorite ones).
We took cash out last Friday for two weeks of daycare because we pay our daycare provider every Monday, and we get paid every two weeks, so when that second week comes around, it always seems like a shock when another $130 is gone from our account. Going forward, I am going to start withdrawing the $260 needed for the next two weeks every time we get paid so the money is out of our account and accounted for and there are no surprises later.
We also took out cash for food. $80 for groceries for two weeks and $20 each for fun money, as well as $20 total for 'eating out' money. That's not a lot for two weeks so I told my husband we would have to eat at cheap places or not eat out at all. We are already out of the $20 for eat out money (go figure) so it forces us to think twice before we eat out again. I am not saying we will never go over the allotted amount, but it really makes us realize how much we are spending on eating out and think about it before we do it. Also, the $80 for groceries for two weeks is mostly gone also. I figured that would be a very low amount, but again, putting a limit (or trying to) on what we spend on groceries, makes me think twice about each purchase and if we really need it or can afford it. This is also forcing us to eat from the freezer/pantry to use up stuff we already have.
At some point, I would like to set up either a separate bank account for gift/holiday/special occasion money also as I am not sure cash is the best way to do this category. I admit with cash, I am a little afraid of losing it, it being stolen or the house burning down and it being gone (super unlikely I know, but don't want to have a ton of cash that we could lose somehow). I have heard of other people budgeting for gift money so when someones birthday comes up, they aren't surprised and don't have any extra money for a gift. I also want to start saving now for Christmas as the cost of gifts seems to shock me every year and I always spend more than I meant to.
I feel pretty good about the idea of the cash system though and even if we don't fully utilize the plan, we can make some changes to how we look at and spend money. I think this is a good attitude overall and will only help us in the long run.
I want to curb my spending big time. I think I just feel like I should be able to buy whatever I want, whenever I want, but that is not a good idea and also not practical. I want save more for the future and be able to pay off a few of our outstanding debts also.
I think most people want to feel this way, but I want to get to a point first where we feel comfortable with our cash flow most of the time and don't wonder if we will make it to the next paycheck. After that I want to get to a point where we would be fine if one or both of us lost our jobs for several months and not have to touch any of our retirement savings.
So, I suppose this is a starting point for all of that. Small steps.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Finding myself
This is going to seem like a cheesy self discovery post, but it's not meant to be that.
I just wanted to put it out there that recenty I've been feeling like somehow I've lost myself. I think it happened when I had a child. I don't even know myself the full extent of what I mean by this, but I feel as though I don't do anything that I find fun or enjoyable anymore, I don't take care of myself the way I should and I don't spend the amount of time on friendships that I wish I could (or housework, or reading or a number of other things).
That's not to say that being a mom isn't the best thing in the world, because it is! I wouldn't give up one second of my son's life for anything. But I will say, having a kid is extremely time consuming! I am constantly racked with guilt about what I am not doing or getting done. I should work out more. I should cook more. I should clean more. I should read to my son more. I should spend more time playing with the dog. I should contact my family and friends more. I should keep better track of our money. I should budget more so we can save more. I should make time for scrapbooking. I should take and print more pictures. The list goes on.
I try not to live by the whole 'I should be doing this or that' standard and I know I should just try to enjoy each day as it comes, but I just can't help but feel like I am missing out on some things. I have mentioned this in several previous posts, but I feel like part of why I feel this way is my commute to work. It eats up about 2 1/2 hours of my day and it is just out of hand. I hate that all that time is just gone with nothing to show for it. The only thing I have been doing in that time is reading. I know reading is good for me and I do really enjoy rit so it is somewhat enjoyable. I just wish I could do more with that time. I feel like it is a waste.
I feel like I have so many unfinished projects at home and it just bugs me to death! I have my son's scrapbook from his first year, and I am only on month 6 - he is 2 1/2! That is a huge goal of mine - to get it done by the time he is three. How pathetic is that? I know they say people make time for what they want to make time for and that is true. I enjoy watching tv and browsing around on the internet, so that is what I spend my time doing quite a bit. I could choose to spend more of the time editing pictures and ordering them so I can complete scrapbooks and I could spend more time cleaning so I keep my home nice but I don't. I think part of the reason is because I am tired. It is much easier to come home and plop down and relax after a long day and a long commute.
I think it is true how they say that you choose your own happiness or you choose whether or not you want to be happy. I think the choices we make are a big deal and I think for the most part, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the choices we make and any resulting happiness/unhappiness from those choices.
I need to choose to do things that are more fulfilling then tv and the internet. I need to go on a tv strike so I can start doing other things I enjoy. In fact, I think I am going to. I just want to feel like I got the most from my evenings and didn't waste them. Time on weekdays is at a premium so I want to spend it wisely.
Anyway, back to the whole 'finding myself' thing. I think another part of the reason I feel this way is because I don't know what I want from life. I don't know if this is the career field I want to stay in or if I want to move on and go back to school or if I want to save up as much as possible to become a stay at home mom again if we decide to have another child. I don't even know if I want another child! I feel like I have some decisions to make and some serious thinking to do. I don't know if I should try to put a deadline on my decisions, but I want to make up my mind. I am not old by any means, but also don't want to wait another 10 years to decide what to do with my life. It's just hard being an adult and having to make real life decisions.
I also know that part of being really happy is being healthy. I am not so healthy right now and am starting to work on it. I just went to the doctor for the first time in a year and feel like that was a step in the right direction of taking better care of myself. Now on to the dentist and eye doctor! Also, I need to get real and finally decide to lose the extra 30 pounds I am carrying. I think I would feel like a whole new person if I lost the weight once and for all! I must do it. I keep telling myself this but have to finally commit.
I suppose that is all for now. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head, even if not a single person reads them!
I just wanted to put it out there that recenty I've been feeling like somehow I've lost myself. I think it happened when I had a child. I don't even know myself the full extent of what I mean by this, but I feel as though I don't do anything that I find fun or enjoyable anymore, I don't take care of myself the way I should and I don't spend the amount of time on friendships that I wish I could (or housework, or reading or a number of other things).
That's not to say that being a mom isn't the best thing in the world, because it is! I wouldn't give up one second of my son's life for anything. But I will say, having a kid is extremely time consuming! I am constantly racked with guilt about what I am not doing or getting done. I should work out more. I should cook more. I should clean more. I should read to my son more. I should spend more time playing with the dog. I should contact my family and friends more. I should keep better track of our money. I should budget more so we can save more. I should make time for scrapbooking. I should take and print more pictures. The list goes on.
I try not to live by the whole 'I should be doing this or that' standard and I know I should just try to enjoy each day as it comes, but I just can't help but feel like I am missing out on some things. I have mentioned this in several previous posts, but I feel like part of why I feel this way is my commute to work. It eats up about 2 1/2 hours of my day and it is just out of hand. I hate that all that time is just gone with nothing to show for it. The only thing I have been doing in that time is reading. I know reading is good for me and I do really enjoy rit so it is somewhat enjoyable. I just wish I could do more with that time. I feel like it is a waste.
I feel like I have so many unfinished projects at home and it just bugs me to death! I have my son's scrapbook from his first year, and I am only on month 6 - he is 2 1/2! That is a huge goal of mine - to get it done by the time he is three. How pathetic is that? I know they say people make time for what they want to make time for and that is true. I enjoy watching tv and browsing around on the internet, so that is what I spend my time doing quite a bit. I could choose to spend more of the time editing pictures and ordering them so I can complete scrapbooks and I could spend more time cleaning so I keep my home nice but I don't. I think part of the reason is because I am tired. It is much easier to come home and plop down and relax after a long day and a long commute.
I think it is true how they say that you choose your own happiness or you choose whether or not you want to be happy. I think the choices we make are a big deal and I think for the most part, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the choices we make and any resulting happiness/unhappiness from those choices.
I need to choose to do things that are more fulfilling then tv and the internet. I need to go on a tv strike so I can start doing other things I enjoy. In fact, I think I am going to. I just want to feel like I got the most from my evenings and didn't waste them. Time on weekdays is at a premium so I want to spend it wisely.
Anyway, back to the whole 'finding myself' thing. I think another part of the reason I feel this way is because I don't know what I want from life. I don't know if this is the career field I want to stay in or if I want to move on and go back to school or if I want to save up as much as possible to become a stay at home mom again if we decide to have another child. I don't even know if I want another child! I feel like I have some decisions to make and some serious thinking to do. I don't know if I should try to put a deadline on my decisions, but I want to make up my mind. I am not old by any means, but also don't want to wait another 10 years to decide what to do with my life. It's just hard being an adult and having to make real life decisions.
I also know that part of being really happy is being healthy. I am not so healthy right now and am starting to work on it. I just went to the doctor for the first time in a year and feel like that was a step in the right direction of taking better care of myself. Now on to the dentist and eye doctor! Also, I need to get real and finally decide to lose the extra 30 pounds I am carrying. I think I would feel like a whole new person if I lost the weight once and for all! I must do it. I keep telling myself this but have to finally commit.
I suppose that is all for now. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head, even if not a single person reads them!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Feeling down....
I have been feeling not myself for the last week for more than one reason.
First of all, I have had a nasty stomach bug for the last several days. I was throwing up last Monday night but haven't since then luckily. However, I have felt pretty crappy off an on since then and haven't eaten a full meal since then (good for my waistline). I tried to eat a regular meal last night for the first time since Monday and sure enough, I felt extremely ill. I didn't get sick but was so close and learned my lesson that I'm not ready for full meals yet. It may be a few days yet the way I am going.
Also, it feels like the last few months have overall gone really well and that money has been no issue and other things seem to be smooth as well. I'm not sure why but it feels like it is changing for the worse now.
The air conditioner in my car (a 2006 - not even that old) stopped working last week. Todd was able to fix it however and it appears to just have been out of coolant. No biggie, about $30. Just glad it wasn't worse and that Todd did it himself to save money.
The brakes in my car also appear to be on their last leg. Or at least the brake pads. They are squealing like a pig right now and have been for a little while so I better get them changed before I do permanent damage to them.
Since I have felt sick, I have had no energy and no motivation so my house is a mess and I feel like I will never get on top of it.
I have had more than one late payment on utility bills recently (nothing bad like a credit card). It's not that I can't pay them or don't want to but seriously, I forget. And more than one of the bills I set up on auto pay and it didn't freaking pay the bill this month. How is that my fault? Anyway, it's been frustrating because all the bills are different than back home and fall at different times so I've had trouble getting into a routine where I remember to pay them. Frustrating.
I'm no where near where I wanted to be as far as weight loss for the summer right now. I wanted to lose at least a few pounds by now and I am big as ever. Also, I have gotten no time in the sun so I am still pasty white which doesn't help my cause.
Bleh. I am ready to start feeling better and like myself again and when that happens, it's on to a new me. Funny how when you feel like you finally have motivation to start working out, that is when you get sick. That's life I guess.
First of all, I have had a nasty stomach bug for the last several days. I was throwing up last Monday night but haven't since then luckily. However, I have felt pretty crappy off an on since then and haven't eaten a full meal since then (good for my waistline). I tried to eat a regular meal last night for the first time since Monday and sure enough, I felt extremely ill. I didn't get sick but was so close and learned my lesson that I'm not ready for full meals yet. It may be a few days yet the way I am going.
Also, it feels like the last few months have overall gone really well and that money has been no issue and other things seem to be smooth as well. I'm not sure why but it feels like it is changing for the worse now.
The air conditioner in my car (a 2006 - not even that old) stopped working last week. Todd was able to fix it however and it appears to just have been out of coolant. No biggie, about $30. Just glad it wasn't worse and that Todd did it himself to save money.
The brakes in my car also appear to be on their last leg. Or at least the brake pads. They are squealing like a pig right now and have been for a little while so I better get them changed before I do permanent damage to them.
Since I have felt sick, I have had no energy and no motivation so my house is a mess and I feel like I will never get on top of it.
I have had more than one late payment on utility bills recently (nothing bad like a credit card). It's not that I can't pay them or don't want to but seriously, I forget. And more than one of the bills I set up on auto pay and it didn't freaking pay the bill this month. How is that my fault? Anyway, it's been frustrating because all the bills are different than back home and fall at different times so I've had trouble getting into a routine where I remember to pay them. Frustrating.
I'm no where near where I wanted to be as far as weight loss for the summer right now. I wanted to lose at least a few pounds by now and I am big as ever. Also, I have gotten no time in the sun so I am still pasty white which doesn't help my cause.
Bleh. I am ready to start feeling better and like myself again and when that happens, it's on to a new me. Funny how when you feel like you finally have motivation to start working out, that is when you get sick. That's life I guess.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Why is being an adult so difficult?
I know that is a silly, rhetorical question, but it just sucks to be an adult sometimes.
Making tough choices is part of being an adult but it sure sucks at times. Sometimes I wish someone would make decisions for me and that I wouldn't have to deal with any problems or issues ever. Sometimes I want to hide under a rock and hope it all goes away (although saying this makes it sound like I have all sorts of problems, but I really don't and am pretty blessed. I am more referring to the once in a while a bigger issue comes along). I know this is unrealistic and not very mature of me to feel this way.
I have told people in the past that I feel like I will be 21 forever (and there even happens to be a store named 'forever 21' - isn't that cute?). I don't feel like that in respect to feeling young like I want to party all the time and not have a job or responsibilities, but more like I feel that way as far as every part of being an adult is new to me and it always will be. I have been an adult for a while now and I got married when I was about 22. But the fact that I get to (or have to) decide what to do with my life and where to go and what to buy is hard for me. I still struggle with it. Heck, I may struggle with it my whole life! I told this lady I work with that it is weird that I get to decide on most things in my life. I don't know if I had an issue with this growing up where I always wanted to be in control and wasn't. I don't know. It's almost like too much freedom is bad for me and too many choices paralyze me! Sounds weird I know.
A couple of recent things that have come up that make me feel this way.....
-School. I can't decide if I want to go back to school or not. I want a degree but this is a tough time in my life to try to do it with a small child and the possibility of having another one in the next few years. Also, someone recently said to me 'you make as much money or more than a lot of people with degrees, so why bother?' I agree with this to a point but I feel like if I am going to go much farther in life and my career that I will need a degree at some point. Plus I am 28. That gives me enough time to get a degree and still have plenty of time to work my way up in my career and potentially be able to make a lot more if I do get a degree. My fear is that if I wait too much longer to start, a lot of my years of having high earning potential will be behind me. I just don't know. Add into this that I would have at least half of my school paid for by tuition reimbursement from my company if I stay. That is hard to pass up with how pricey school is these days!
-Dog. I don't want to go into it too much, but we were bad people recently and got rid of our dog. It was to a private party - a lady and her boyfriend. I got an email from her today saying she now can't keep the dog. Are you freaking kidding me? What am I supposed to do now? I don't want the dog back and I don't know what to tell her. I kinda want to say 'that's your problem now and not mine' but I would like to think of something nicer and better to say, but I don't know what it would be. I don't want to take the dog back and try to find another family for her. Too hard on us and her I think. I feel like the new owner should do what she wants and not tell me about it. It's too hard to deal with. I don't want to take the dog back only to give it up again. We never should have had dogs in the first place. We don't have enough time or energy to devote to a dog.
-Money. We have recently made some good strides in our finances and I am feeling pretty good about things. Problem is, I don't feel great. All I want is to feel great and have no payments to anyone outside of utilities, our mortgage and maybe a car loan. I just struggle with making everyday choices that support our overall goal of being secure. I know we are still young and a lot of young couples are trying to find their footing financially, but I need security and I want it now! Ok, not really, but I would like it to be about 2-3 years from now because if things go as planned, we will be feeling awesome financially! Tough choices with money suck. I wish I didn't have to make decisions or do certain things. I wish this would all be done for me or that we had a ton of extra money or whatever. It is what it is for now and all we can do is keep making good decisions going forward to get to where we want to be.
Anyway, that is all I have. I will get over it eventually but for now I am just stressed about life.
Making tough choices is part of being an adult but it sure sucks at times. Sometimes I wish someone would make decisions for me and that I wouldn't have to deal with any problems or issues ever. Sometimes I want to hide under a rock and hope it all goes away (although saying this makes it sound like I have all sorts of problems, but I really don't and am pretty blessed. I am more referring to the once in a while a bigger issue comes along). I know this is unrealistic and not very mature of me to feel this way.
I have told people in the past that I feel like I will be 21 forever (and there even happens to be a store named 'forever 21' - isn't that cute?). I don't feel like that in respect to feeling young like I want to party all the time and not have a job or responsibilities, but more like I feel that way as far as every part of being an adult is new to me and it always will be. I have been an adult for a while now and I got married when I was about 22. But the fact that I get to (or have to) decide what to do with my life and where to go and what to buy is hard for me. I still struggle with it. Heck, I may struggle with it my whole life! I told this lady I work with that it is weird that I get to decide on most things in my life. I don't know if I had an issue with this growing up where I always wanted to be in control and wasn't. I don't know. It's almost like too much freedom is bad for me and too many choices paralyze me! Sounds weird I know.
A couple of recent things that have come up that make me feel this way.....
-School. I can't decide if I want to go back to school or not. I want a degree but this is a tough time in my life to try to do it with a small child and the possibility of having another one in the next few years. Also, someone recently said to me 'you make as much money or more than a lot of people with degrees, so why bother?' I agree with this to a point but I feel like if I am going to go much farther in life and my career that I will need a degree at some point. Plus I am 28. That gives me enough time to get a degree and still have plenty of time to work my way up in my career and potentially be able to make a lot more if I do get a degree. My fear is that if I wait too much longer to start, a lot of my years of having high earning potential will be behind me. I just don't know. Add into this that I would have at least half of my school paid for by tuition reimbursement from my company if I stay. That is hard to pass up with how pricey school is these days!
-Dog. I don't want to go into it too much, but we were bad people recently and got rid of our dog. It was to a private party - a lady and her boyfriend. I got an email from her today saying she now can't keep the dog. Are you freaking kidding me? What am I supposed to do now? I don't want the dog back and I don't know what to tell her. I kinda want to say 'that's your problem now and not mine' but I would like to think of something nicer and better to say, but I don't know what it would be. I don't want to take the dog back and try to find another family for her. Too hard on us and her I think. I feel like the new owner should do what she wants and not tell me about it. It's too hard to deal with. I don't want to take the dog back only to give it up again. We never should have had dogs in the first place. We don't have enough time or energy to devote to a dog.
-Money. We have recently made some good strides in our finances and I am feeling pretty good about things. Problem is, I don't feel great. All I want is to feel great and have no payments to anyone outside of utilities, our mortgage and maybe a car loan. I just struggle with making everyday choices that support our overall goal of being secure. I know we are still young and a lot of young couples are trying to find their footing financially, but I need security and I want it now! Ok, not really, but I would like it to be about 2-3 years from now because if things go as planned, we will be feeling awesome financially! Tough choices with money suck. I wish I didn't have to make decisions or do certain things. I wish this would all be done for me or that we had a ton of extra money or whatever. It is what it is for now and all we can do is keep making good decisions going forward to get to where we want to be.
Anyway, that is all I have. I will get over it eventually but for now I am just stressed about life.
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