All I can say is, I am having issues. Lots of them.
My health is not the best. I have been feeling down.
I'm not sure what to do. I don't know what to change, or maybe how to change.
I'm in a rut. Why are things so hard sometimes? Why can't life just be easy?
I know I'm the one who has to change my attitude and my behavior - no one else will do it for me.
Showing posts with label Diabetes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diabetes. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The end of 2011 or ready for the new year
I can't believe this is the last day of 2011! This year has once again gone faster than any before it. I think the fact that we moved to Colorado this year and I had a new job and then a promotion was a big part of it.
I'm a little sad to say goodbye to another year as I am a year older and not really any wiser. There are a lot of things that I didn't accomplish this year that I wanted to. I guess that gives me some bigger goals for the new year.
Anyway, this will be word vomit about things we did this year, things I wished we had done and things I really want to do in the new year. I will number this post for my own sake to keep it organized.
1. Thinking back to the beginning of 2011, instead of choosing resolutions, I did that new thing people talk about and instead of resolutions, had 'one word' for 2011. My word was 'blame'. I wanted to stop blaming everyone else for my own problems or for things I was mad about. Particularly, it is easy to blame your spouse when things go wrong. I think that was my main challenge - not blaming Todd for things that I am upset about. And it's tough to look back and realize that you didn't really do what you wanted with your goal. That is to say that I don't feel I did that good of a job at not blaming other people. As I was thinking about my new word for 2012, it did make me think more about my 2011 word and then it made me think about how I didn't change as much as I wanted to in this respect.
- Specifically, I think there are many things that I am unhappy about that make me take out my current frustration on others. Not having enough money is easy to take out on your spouse. Being overweight and having no confidence makes it easy to feel insecure and generally in a bad mood and take it out on your spouse. It's easy to be stressed at your job when you are working a ton and once again, to take it out on your spouse or to blame them when something goes wrong.
2. My new word for 2012 is 'commit'. If I am going to start something, I need to complete it and commit to getting it done. I feel like there are so many things I have started that I have never finished. I need to look at all situations and decide if I want to do it bad enough to commit to it.
- A few examples of things I want to do this coming year, but have to commit to:
- I've got to lose weight once and for all. I don't want to do it for vanity (though feeling good about yourself is great). I need to do it for my health. And on that note....
- I need to take permanent control of my diabetes. This is so much bigger of a deal than I have made it. I only have one life and one body and I have to take care of myself and my body so I hopefully live a long time. I keep thinking about my son and how I want him to have a mom well into his adulthood and the only way that will happen is if I take care of myself now and for the rest of my life. I have made some steps in the right direction, but need to work even harder next year.
- I need to commit to my education and my job to make it as far as I can in my field. I think I will have to just suck it up and take another exam for work and once that is over, I want to look into going back to school. I feel like I have done amazingly well in my field without a college degree, but feel like it is time to at least get an associates degree. I could have that within 2 years and then if I want to keep going, I could have a bachelor's degree in another 2 years. This is something I have been putting off for a long time but my company has such a good tuition reimbursement program, that it is hard to pass up.
- I need to commit to organizing my house and keeping it clean. I know that so much of my stress comes from our house always being a mess and not being able to find things because things get lost due to the mess that is always everywhere in our house. I don't think there is one room in our house that is fully organized right now and it drives me crazy. I want to feel like most of our house is organized most of the time. Right now I feel like most of our house is in chaos most of the time and if a room is clean or organized, it is not the norm.
- This one may seem cheesy, but I need to commit to preserving our memories, no matter what they are. I have pictures that are everywhere, with no organization. I have scrapbooks that I have started and never finished and need to get those done and catch up on photos and albums. Even if I don't do scrapbooks for all of our pictures, if I at least put them in regular albums, I will feel a lot more organized. I would like to do some scrapbooking on a regular basis, but at least need to get caught up on what I have.
3. Looking back on this last year, there were some great times and some not so great times.
The great times include:
- Buying a house we love in Aurora, Colorado after we moved here late last year and lived in a corporate apartment. We didn't get to look at many houses and we were rushed to pick one and we feel very lucky that we really like our house. We feel like we learned some lessons from our first house and did apply them to what we wanted for a second house.
- Xander continues to be a healthy, growing toddler. That is not really just one great thing, but in general we are so blessed to have him and he turned 3 in November. He has changed so much this year and is such a joy to us, even when he is challenging us.
- After being in my position less than one year, I was promoted to the manager of my department when my old boss left. In less than a year I almost doubled my salary (including what I was paid when I was back in Omaha). I don't say this to brag but to remind myself how lucky I really am. I may even be overpaid. :)
- Easter at our house with several of Todd's relatives. We met some of his relatives this year that I had never met before and he hadn't seen since he was a child.
- Several visits from Todd's parents and my parents. These are definitely highlights of our year since we moved away from all of our family and don't get to seem that all that often. We also made a few trips back to Nebraska to see family and that was great too, even if the trips were rushed.
- We did several fun things since moving to Denver. We wanted to enjoy the things that Denver had to offer as soon as we could in case for some reason we end up moving again. We went to the Christmas lights at the zoo last year right when we moved here, went to see the railroad museum and to a railroad theme park called Tiny Town, both for Xander since he loves trains, we've both been to a few Rockies games and went to our first pro football game seeing the Broncos play the Lions (who we were rooting for), we got a family membership to the Denver Children's Museum for Xander, we went on a hike early in the spring, drove to Breckenridge this summer to sight see, drove to Estes Park this fall also to sight see and have experienced a few new restaurants and have enjoyed shopping at Ikea - which we didn't have back in Nebraska.
Some of the not as great of times:
- Moving away from family. Even though we were excited for a new adventure, it is hard to move away from your family and friends. It was also very stressful with both of us already living in a new state and trying to sell our house back home as well as get it all packed up and moved.
- My new job. Yeah I know it is positive too, but along with the promotion has come a ton of stress. I spent a lot of time working and not as much time with my son. For a while, I could tell that Xander was missing me with how much I was working. The bad part is, we are still behind at work and January will hopefully slow down a little bit, but will still be busy and I will still have to work more than I want to.
- Todd's job being stressful too. We both had a tough year at our jobs, but we are both thankful that we are employed.
- Our money situation never seems to go as we hope. I guess that is just life but it seems like we just can't catch a break sometimes and something expensive always seems to come up. We plan on working hard on our finances next year, but it was a hard year for us.
4. We are looking forward to the new year and a fresh start. There are more things we want to do in Colorado including going to the mountains more, possibly hiking a few of them. We also look forward to having more time with our son (mostly me) and doing fun activities with him as he gets older. We also want to do some more projects around our house to get it the way we would like it such as changing out light fixtures, changing a couple of faucets, touch up painting, painting a few rooms and some other small things. We also have a list a mile long that 'if we have the money for' we would like to purchase. We need a new computer desk, a new kitchen table, a new entertainment center for the family room and a few other things. I guess you just save up and buy one at a time as you can. I think it will be fun to continue working on our house and having it feel more 'complete'.
5. It all starts tomorrow! I hope that everyone has a great new year and stays healthy and happy!
I'm a little sad to say goodbye to another year as I am a year older and not really any wiser. There are a lot of things that I didn't accomplish this year that I wanted to. I guess that gives me some bigger goals for the new year.
Anyway, this will be word vomit about things we did this year, things I wished we had done and things I really want to do in the new year. I will number this post for my own sake to keep it organized.
1. Thinking back to the beginning of 2011, instead of choosing resolutions, I did that new thing people talk about and instead of resolutions, had 'one word' for 2011. My word was 'blame'. I wanted to stop blaming everyone else for my own problems or for things I was mad about. Particularly, it is easy to blame your spouse when things go wrong. I think that was my main challenge - not blaming Todd for things that I am upset about. And it's tough to look back and realize that you didn't really do what you wanted with your goal. That is to say that I don't feel I did that good of a job at not blaming other people. As I was thinking about my new word for 2012, it did make me think more about my 2011 word and then it made me think about how I didn't change as much as I wanted to in this respect.
- Specifically, I think there are many things that I am unhappy about that make me take out my current frustration on others. Not having enough money is easy to take out on your spouse. Being overweight and having no confidence makes it easy to feel insecure and generally in a bad mood and take it out on your spouse. It's easy to be stressed at your job when you are working a ton and once again, to take it out on your spouse or to blame them when something goes wrong.
2. My new word for 2012 is 'commit'. If I am going to start something, I need to complete it and commit to getting it done. I feel like there are so many things I have started that I have never finished. I need to look at all situations and decide if I want to do it bad enough to commit to it.
- A few examples of things I want to do this coming year, but have to commit to:
- I've got to lose weight once and for all. I don't want to do it for vanity (though feeling good about yourself is great). I need to do it for my health. And on that note....
- I need to take permanent control of my diabetes. This is so much bigger of a deal than I have made it. I only have one life and one body and I have to take care of myself and my body so I hopefully live a long time. I keep thinking about my son and how I want him to have a mom well into his adulthood and the only way that will happen is if I take care of myself now and for the rest of my life. I have made some steps in the right direction, but need to work even harder next year.
- I need to commit to my education and my job to make it as far as I can in my field. I think I will have to just suck it up and take another exam for work and once that is over, I want to look into going back to school. I feel like I have done amazingly well in my field without a college degree, but feel like it is time to at least get an associates degree. I could have that within 2 years and then if I want to keep going, I could have a bachelor's degree in another 2 years. This is something I have been putting off for a long time but my company has such a good tuition reimbursement program, that it is hard to pass up.
- I need to commit to organizing my house and keeping it clean. I know that so much of my stress comes from our house always being a mess and not being able to find things because things get lost due to the mess that is always everywhere in our house. I don't think there is one room in our house that is fully organized right now and it drives me crazy. I want to feel like most of our house is organized most of the time. Right now I feel like most of our house is in chaos most of the time and if a room is clean or organized, it is not the norm.
- This one may seem cheesy, but I need to commit to preserving our memories, no matter what they are. I have pictures that are everywhere, with no organization. I have scrapbooks that I have started and never finished and need to get those done and catch up on photos and albums. Even if I don't do scrapbooks for all of our pictures, if I at least put them in regular albums, I will feel a lot more organized. I would like to do some scrapbooking on a regular basis, but at least need to get caught up on what I have.
3. Looking back on this last year, there were some great times and some not so great times.
The great times include:
- Buying a house we love in Aurora, Colorado after we moved here late last year and lived in a corporate apartment. We didn't get to look at many houses and we were rushed to pick one and we feel very lucky that we really like our house. We feel like we learned some lessons from our first house and did apply them to what we wanted for a second house.
- Xander continues to be a healthy, growing toddler. That is not really just one great thing, but in general we are so blessed to have him and he turned 3 in November. He has changed so much this year and is such a joy to us, even when he is challenging us.
- After being in my position less than one year, I was promoted to the manager of my department when my old boss left. In less than a year I almost doubled my salary (including what I was paid when I was back in Omaha). I don't say this to brag but to remind myself how lucky I really am. I may even be overpaid. :)
- Easter at our house with several of Todd's relatives. We met some of his relatives this year that I had never met before and he hadn't seen since he was a child.
- Several visits from Todd's parents and my parents. These are definitely highlights of our year since we moved away from all of our family and don't get to seem that all that often. We also made a few trips back to Nebraska to see family and that was great too, even if the trips were rushed.
- We did several fun things since moving to Denver. We wanted to enjoy the things that Denver had to offer as soon as we could in case for some reason we end up moving again. We went to the Christmas lights at the zoo last year right when we moved here, went to see the railroad museum and to a railroad theme park called Tiny Town, both for Xander since he loves trains, we've both been to a few Rockies games and went to our first pro football game seeing the Broncos play the Lions (who we were rooting for), we got a family membership to the Denver Children's Museum for Xander, we went on a hike early in the spring, drove to Breckenridge this summer to sight see, drove to Estes Park this fall also to sight see and have experienced a few new restaurants and have enjoyed shopping at Ikea - which we didn't have back in Nebraska.
Some of the not as great of times:
- Moving away from family. Even though we were excited for a new adventure, it is hard to move away from your family and friends. It was also very stressful with both of us already living in a new state and trying to sell our house back home as well as get it all packed up and moved.
- My new job. Yeah I know it is positive too, but along with the promotion has come a ton of stress. I spent a lot of time working and not as much time with my son. For a while, I could tell that Xander was missing me with how much I was working. The bad part is, we are still behind at work and January will hopefully slow down a little bit, but will still be busy and I will still have to work more than I want to.
- Todd's job being stressful too. We both had a tough year at our jobs, but we are both thankful that we are employed.
- Our money situation never seems to go as we hope. I guess that is just life but it seems like we just can't catch a break sometimes and something expensive always seems to come up. We plan on working hard on our finances next year, but it was a hard year for us.
4. We are looking forward to the new year and a fresh start. There are more things we want to do in Colorado including going to the mountains more, possibly hiking a few of them. We also look forward to having more time with our son (mostly me) and doing fun activities with him as he gets older. We also want to do some more projects around our house to get it the way we would like it such as changing out light fixtures, changing a couple of faucets, touch up painting, painting a few rooms and some other small things. We also have a list a mile long that 'if we have the money for' we would like to purchase. We need a new computer desk, a new kitchen table, a new entertainment center for the family room and a few other things. I guess you just save up and buy one at a time as you can. I think it will be fun to continue working on our house and having it feel more 'complete'.
5. It all starts tomorrow! I hope that everyone has a great new year and stays healthy and happy!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
I can do it!
Going to the doctor yesterday and finding out my newest A1C value (6.2% -thankyouverymuch) makes me feel like I can do it! It's not easy and it's certainly never fun, but I can do it. I can be healthy and happy and take good care of myself.
I am constantly learning about my disease and how it is always changing and how what I eat, how stressed I am or how other things can all affect me. I think I will always be learning.
I feel good about where I am except for one thing. My weight. My doctor basically gave me permission to up my dose of one of my medicines and it should help me lose weight. I am not sure why, but I am a little hesitant to up the dose, only because it is sooooo expensive. I guess I have to look at it this way. Would I pay $100 a month for a weight loss pill that ACTUALLY worked? Oh and had other positive benefits to my body also?
Anyway, this is where my head is at now. Feeling pretty good despite the extreme stress I'm under at work. I keep telling myself it's only temporary - because it is. I will survive.
I am constantly learning about my disease and how it is always changing and how what I eat, how stressed I am or how other things can all affect me. I think I will always be learning.
I feel good about where I am except for one thing. My weight. My doctor basically gave me permission to up my dose of one of my medicines and it should help me lose weight. I am not sure why, but I am a little hesitant to up the dose, only because it is sooooo expensive. I guess I have to look at it this way. Would I pay $100 a month for a weight loss pill that ACTUALLY worked? Oh and had other positive benefits to my body also?
Anyway, this is where my head is at now. Feeling pretty good despite the extreme stress I'm under at work. I keep telling myself it's only temporary - because it is. I will survive.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Diabetes Lesson of the Day
I went to the doctor today and got my newest A1C - 6.2%!!!! Woohoo! My last one was over 11 about 3 months ago and I have been busting my butt to get it in control and it has worked!
I am on a journey to take better care of myself and I feel like the more I educate myself, the better I will do. Not that anyone cares but I find the science behind Diabetes pretty fascinating.
I copied the following from Wikipedia as to how Type 1 Diabetics become Diabetic in the first place and some other interesting facts.
"Diabetes type 1 is caused by the destruction of enough beta cells to produce symptoms; these cells, which are found in the Islets of Langerhans in the pancreas, produce and secrete insulin, the single hormone responsible for allowing glucose to enter from the blood into cells (in addition to the hormone amylin, another hormone required for glucose homeostasis). Hence, the phrase "curing diabetes type 1" means "causing a maintenance or restoration of the endogenous ability of the body to produce insulin in response to the level of blood glucose" and cooperative operation with counterregulatory hormones."
"Most people who develop type 1 are otherwise healthy.[5] Although the cause of type 1 diabetes is still not fully understood it is believed to be of immunological origin."
"Evidence so far indicates that the development of diabetes type I is induced by more or less a combination of genetic susceptibility, a diabetogenic trigger and exposure to a driving antigen.[8] Many risk factors have been suggested, and there is ongoing research into the influence of environmental factors. There is also research being conducted on individual factors, and whether some may be regarded as sufficient to cause the disease by themselves or only in addition to other risk factors."
"Type 1 diabetes is not currently preventable.[22] Still, promising therapies are emerging, and it has been suggested that, in the future, diabetes type 1 may be prevented at the latent autoimmune stage, probably by a combination therapy of several methods."
"Diabetes mellitus type 1 (Type 1 diabetes, IDDM, or, formerly, juvenile diabetes) is a form of diabetes mellitus that results from autoimmune destruction of insulin-producing beta cells of the pancreas.[2] The subsequent lack of insulin leads to increased blood and urine glucose. The classical symptoms are polyuria (frequent urination), polydipsia (increased thirst), polyphagia (increased hunger), and weight loss.[3]"
I don't understand a lot of the terms myself but I have a basic understanding of how I got the disease and obviously how to treat it.
And there you have it. It's not preventable, it's treatable but not by diet alone and I will have to take insulin the rest of my life unless there is a cure. Knowledge is power people!
I am on a journey to take better care of myself and I feel like the more I educate myself, the better I will do. Not that anyone cares but I find the science behind Diabetes pretty fascinating.
I copied the following from Wikipedia as to how Type 1 Diabetics become Diabetic in the first place and some other interesting facts.
"Diabetes type 1 is caused by the destruction of enough beta cells to produce symptoms; these cells, which are found in the Islets of Langerhans in the pancreas, produce and secrete insulin, the single hormone responsible for allowing glucose to enter from the blood into cells (in addition to the hormone amylin, another hormone required for glucose homeostasis). Hence, the phrase "curing diabetes type 1" means "causing a maintenance or restoration of the endogenous ability of the body to produce insulin in response to the level of blood glucose" and cooperative operation with counterregulatory hormones."
"Most people who develop type 1 are otherwise healthy.[5] Although the cause of type 1 diabetes is still not fully understood it is believed to be of immunological origin."
"Evidence so far indicates that the development of diabetes type I is induced by more or less a combination of genetic susceptibility, a diabetogenic trigger and exposure to a driving antigen.[8] Many risk factors have been suggested, and there is ongoing research into the influence of environmental factors. There is also research being conducted on individual factors, and whether some may be regarded as sufficient to cause the disease by themselves or only in addition to other risk factors."
"Type 1 diabetes is not currently preventable.[22] Still, promising therapies are emerging, and it has been suggested that, in the future, diabetes type 1 may be prevented at the latent autoimmune stage, probably by a combination therapy of several methods."
"Diabetes mellitus type 1 (Type 1 diabetes, IDDM, or, formerly, juvenile diabetes) is a form of diabetes mellitus that results from autoimmune destruction of insulin-producing beta cells of the pancreas.[2] The subsequent lack of insulin leads to increased blood and urine glucose. The classical symptoms are polyuria (frequent urination), polydipsia (increased thirst), polyphagia (increased hunger), and weight loss.[3]"
I don't understand a lot of the terms myself but I have a basic understanding of how I got the disease and obviously how to treat it.
And there you have it. It's not preventable, it's treatable but not by diet alone and I will have to take insulin the rest of my life unless there is a cure. Knowledge is power people!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
A new week is coming
Since it is Sunday night (about my least favorite time of week other than Monday morning) I thought I would just mention that this week I am going to try to look at the new week different than in weeks past.
New chances, new opportunities, a clean slate. All that happy stuff. I am not sure how much I believe it, but I want to feel it and to be able to have a positive attitude. I hate Monday's and I live for the weekend, where my time is my own.
I want this week to be the start of some changes. I want every week, even every day to be the start of some changes, but this week I have actually thought ahead.
I am going to get many things on my to do list done. I am going to work out a few days this week. I am going to plan some of my meals in advance so I save money, eat better and can better manager my blood sugar better.
I've already done more on this Sunday than I do on most Sunday's so I already feel accomplished for the week and it hasn't even started. I am also about to go down to my basement and work out and that is also a good start to my week.
I can do better. I can get things done that I want to get done. I can be healthier and lose weight. And I'm going to.
New chances, new opportunities, a clean slate. All that happy stuff. I am not sure how much I believe it, but I want to feel it and to be able to have a positive attitude. I hate Monday's and I live for the weekend, where my time is my own.
I want this week to be the start of some changes. I want every week, even every day to be the start of some changes, but this week I have actually thought ahead.
I am going to get many things on my to do list done. I am going to work out a few days this week. I am going to plan some of my meals in advance so I save money, eat better and can better manager my blood sugar better.
I've already done more on this Sunday than I do on most Sunday's so I already feel accomplished for the week and it hasn't even started. I am also about to go down to my basement and work out and that is also a good start to my week.
I can do better. I can get things done that I want to get done. I can be healthier and lose weight. And I'm going to.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Diabetes and me
I am struggling to figure out how to make my diabetes a main focus of my life.....for the rest of my life.
I know it is not everything, but it is such a big part of me and can't be ignored if I want to be healthy and not die young. I want to take care of myself, but it has been so hard. I am only now doing what I should have been doing for the last 5 year.
I have had major ups and downs with my disease. I have had good control for a while, but of the 5 years I have had diabetes, I have only had good control for less than 2 years of that time. Terrible.
So now I have to figure out how to make it all work. I don't think there is one answer to this. I think this is going to be an ongoing challenge, probably for the rest of my life.
Right now I am in transition. Transitioning to eating better, taking insulin more, testing more often and starting a new medicine. I will eventually get an insulin pump (hopefully in the next month or two) and will continue to be in this phase until I have that all figured out. I know I won't have everything magically figured out once I get my pump, but I think it will improve things for the better.
So now I am just taking it day by day. Struggling more days than not. Trying to make the right choices and eat the right things and test my blood sugar enough.
That's all I can do and I just have to hope it all works out and things continue to go well and hopefully get easier for me as time goes on.
I know it is not everything, but it is such a big part of me and can't be ignored if I want to be healthy and not die young. I want to take care of myself, but it has been so hard. I am only now doing what I should have been doing for the last 5 year.
I have had major ups and downs with my disease. I have had good control for a while, but of the 5 years I have had diabetes, I have only had good control for less than 2 years of that time. Terrible.
So now I have to figure out how to make it all work. I don't think there is one answer to this. I think this is going to be an ongoing challenge, probably for the rest of my life.
Right now I am in transition. Transitioning to eating better, taking insulin more, testing more often and starting a new medicine. I will eventually get an insulin pump (hopefully in the next month or two) and will continue to be in this phase until I have that all figured out. I know I won't have everything magically figured out once I get my pump, but I think it will improve things for the better.
So now I am just taking it day by day. Struggling more days than not. Trying to make the right choices and eat the right things and test my blood sugar enough.
That's all I can do and I just have to hope it all works out and things continue to go well and hopefully get easier for me as time goes on.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Feeling good....most of the time
So, since I've started my new medicine, my blood sugar numbers have been awesome! I have only had one or two bad readings since starting Symlin and overall, have been rocking my bg control! I am so excited because it had been so hard to control my blood sugar numbers before and this new medicine makes it so much easier on me. It almost feels effortless to keep my blood sugar in control now and that is the best feeling in the world and something I have never experienced before!
I also have noticed that when I take Symlin, I truly feel less hungry. That is supposed to be one of the benefits of the medicine and I have been being very careful not to read into any symptom or feeling too much and have it not be real or be imagined. But this really does work! Now I get it all of a sudden. The light bulb went on.
I realize how thin people are thin (aside from simple self control and possibly genetics). They actually feel somewhat full and don't keep eating after eating a normal sized meal or a healthy, smaller portion. I had small serving of oatmeal and a cup of yogurt this morning for breakfast and actually felt full, and didn't even feel hungry at lunch time! If I had eaten that exact amount before starting this medicine, I would have never felt full, would have wanted more food and would have felt hungry again by 11. This is the strangest feeling to me.
Now I need to use this 'full' feeling to my advantage and make sure I always eat the healthy food first and then if I still have room, have a snack after a meal. The good news is, I don't feel hungry after a meal so it feels like I can skip the dessert or snack and hopefully it will eventually help me lose weight! That is one of the ultimate goals of this medicine.
My doctor didn't tell me I should lose weight, but I know better. I think they know that should be a benefit of getting on and staying on this medicine. I also have to make an effort, but for once I feel like I have my body working for me and not against me. I know I can live a healthier life and a long life if I take care of myself and stick with it. It is hard to think about the alternative. I want to live a long time for my husband and son and the rest of my family.
I will say there are a few side effects of the medicine but none are major. I have noticed a little bit of congestion and dizzy feeling since taking it and just since yesterday when I increased my dose, I have felt just a little bit of nausea. Nothing major. Just small things that are not worth giving up the medicine for.
Hoping this good feeling and great blood sugar control continues since I am loving it!
I also have noticed that when I take Symlin, I truly feel less hungry. That is supposed to be one of the benefits of the medicine and I have been being very careful not to read into any symptom or feeling too much and have it not be real or be imagined. But this really does work! Now I get it all of a sudden. The light bulb went on.
I realize how thin people are thin (aside from simple self control and possibly genetics). They actually feel somewhat full and don't keep eating after eating a normal sized meal or a healthy, smaller portion. I had small serving of oatmeal and a cup of yogurt this morning for breakfast and actually felt full, and didn't even feel hungry at lunch time! If I had eaten that exact amount before starting this medicine, I would have never felt full, would have wanted more food and would have felt hungry again by 11. This is the strangest feeling to me.
Now I need to use this 'full' feeling to my advantage and make sure I always eat the healthy food first and then if I still have room, have a snack after a meal. The good news is, I don't feel hungry after a meal so it feels like I can skip the dessert or snack and hopefully it will eventually help me lose weight! That is one of the ultimate goals of this medicine.
My doctor didn't tell me I should lose weight, but I know better. I think they know that should be a benefit of getting on and staying on this medicine. I also have to make an effort, but for once I feel like I have my body working for me and not against me. I know I can live a healthier life and a long life if I take care of myself and stick with it. It is hard to think about the alternative. I want to live a long time for my husband and son and the rest of my family.
I will say there are a few side effects of the medicine but none are major. I have noticed a little bit of congestion and dizzy feeling since taking it and just since yesterday when I increased my dose, I have felt just a little bit of nausea. Nothing major. Just small things that are not worth giving up the medicine for.
Hoping this good feeling and great blood sugar control continues since I am loving it!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The one where I talk about being a diabetic
First, let me being with a few randoms.
-I think it is funny how other bloggers in the blogosphere (or whatever you call it) all use a lot of similar wording or topics or whatever. My title of this post is to honor all the other great bloggers out there. This seems to be a super common title - "The one where.......". I think it is a pretty funny title, so I copied.
-My parents are coming to town this week for another visit - their third visit since we moved here! I love having family visit as it makes me feel not so far away from home and helps me miss it a little bit less.
-I have decided to either turn this blog into a blog about me being diabetic or to start a new blog. I have tried to start other blogs before but never kept up with them up cared about them much. But this is something I care about. It is a huge part of me and though it is not all I am about, I feel like if I focus on it a bit more, I will be able to understand myself better and manage my disease better. Sorry to the two readers who actually read my blog - hopefully this won't send you running for the hills!
-We are looking at new cars. I think I have mentioned this once before but we are getting more serious. I know what car I want and though it is nothing fancy, it should be very practical and versatile. We are looking at getting a Subaru Forrester. The funny thing is, we have a Subaru already and love it so much so we thought we might get another. But this time instead of a car, we want a small SUV since you can actually fit quite a bit more in it. Not that we buy big items a lot, but it sure is nice to have when you do buy something big or bulky. We had a Jeep before and it was great for this reason.
-On to being diabetic and some things that have been running through my head recently.
I have been a bad diabetic the last, oh 5 years, or basically since I was diagnosed. In some ways, I have never come to terms with the fact that this disease isn't going anywhere. I have had some good moments in the last 5 years of taking care of myself, but overall, I have done a super craptastic job. Let me tell you why. Because it SUCKS!!!!
I have type 1 diabetes and it bothers me so much when people say 'oh, can you just lose some weight and exercise more to treat it?' No!!!! I can't. I wish I could, but I have to take insulin the rest of my life no matter how skinny or fat I am (unless they cure it in my lifetime, which I am not counting on). I wish it was different and wish it wasn't me, but wishing it away won't do anything.
I recently realized that something has to change. So, this is a new me, starting about 2 weeks ago. I went to the doctor for the first time in a year. My A1C you ask? Oh, just 11.8 (most non-diabetic people are at 6.0 or below)! I knew it would be high, but I don't know if I was prepared to see how high it had gotten. That's pretty scary. Especially since I was able to have it down to 5.6 when I was pregnant with my son! I know it can be done, so why haven't I been doing it?
When I went back to the doctor, I told myself this is it. This is finally when I am going to take care of myself for the rest of my life. I am not saying I won't make mistakes or slip up or have a bad day, week or even month, but I won't let it get this bad again. I can't. Not if I want to see my sweet little boy grow up and grow old with my husband.
In my doctor's office posted on their wall is a sign that basically says they will let you fail as many times as you have to and they will always support you and help you. They basically give you permission to be human. To fail and fall and to get back up again and keep trying. That is what it is all about. Constantly working at it. It will never be easy but it is worth doing. I love how they have that posted. It makes me feel like I'm not being judged. They were super nice at that office too so I am looking forward to going back more often. I don't want to say I disliked my last doctor, but I feel like she didn't have much time for me.
My life will be changing for the better and it has already started. I have been testing my blood sugar more often and also, I started a new medication - Symlin. This has already helped my blood sugar control and I am still on the lowest dose and will probably move up in the dose which will help me even more. I am probably going to be getting an insulin pump which will also help. I am the most excited about that and will hopefully have one within a few months. The doctor wants me to work on being in better control first and then I should be able to get a pump.
I am ready for life to change, to be better. I have to make the choice. I have to choose to be healthy and happy and to take care of myself. I only have one life and one body and should not take it for granted.
This feels weird to say, but I feel like this is a major journey I am on and it feels new in some ways and old in others. I am just going to do my best and forget the rest (borrowed that one from Tony Horton). Wish me luck with my journey!
-I think it is funny how other bloggers in the blogosphere (or whatever you call it) all use a lot of similar wording or topics or whatever. My title of this post is to honor all the other great bloggers out there. This seems to be a super common title - "The one where.......". I think it is a pretty funny title, so I copied.
-My parents are coming to town this week for another visit - their third visit since we moved here! I love having family visit as it makes me feel not so far away from home and helps me miss it a little bit less.
-I have decided to either turn this blog into a blog about me being diabetic or to start a new blog. I have tried to start other blogs before but never kept up with them up cared about them much. But this is something I care about. It is a huge part of me and though it is not all I am about, I feel like if I focus on it a bit more, I will be able to understand myself better and manage my disease better. Sorry to the two readers who actually read my blog - hopefully this won't send you running for the hills!
-We are looking at new cars. I think I have mentioned this once before but we are getting more serious. I know what car I want and though it is nothing fancy, it should be very practical and versatile. We are looking at getting a Subaru Forrester. The funny thing is, we have a Subaru already and love it so much so we thought we might get another. But this time instead of a car, we want a small SUV since you can actually fit quite a bit more in it. Not that we buy big items a lot, but it sure is nice to have when you do buy something big or bulky. We had a Jeep before and it was great for this reason.
-On to being diabetic and some things that have been running through my head recently.
I have been a bad diabetic the last, oh 5 years, or basically since I was diagnosed. In some ways, I have never come to terms with the fact that this disease isn't going anywhere. I have had some good moments in the last 5 years of taking care of myself, but overall, I have done a super craptastic job. Let me tell you why. Because it SUCKS!!!!
I have type 1 diabetes and it bothers me so much when people say 'oh, can you just lose some weight and exercise more to treat it?' No!!!! I can't. I wish I could, but I have to take insulin the rest of my life no matter how skinny or fat I am (unless they cure it in my lifetime, which I am not counting on). I wish it was different and wish it wasn't me, but wishing it away won't do anything.
I recently realized that something has to change. So, this is a new me, starting about 2 weeks ago. I went to the doctor for the first time in a year. My A1C you ask? Oh, just 11.8 (most non-diabetic people are at 6.0 or below)! I knew it would be high, but I don't know if I was prepared to see how high it had gotten. That's pretty scary. Especially since I was able to have it down to 5.6 when I was pregnant with my son! I know it can be done, so why haven't I been doing it?
When I went back to the doctor, I told myself this is it. This is finally when I am going to take care of myself for the rest of my life. I am not saying I won't make mistakes or slip up or have a bad day, week or even month, but I won't let it get this bad again. I can't. Not if I want to see my sweet little boy grow up and grow old with my husband.
In my doctor's office posted on their wall is a sign that basically says they will let you fail as many times as you have to and they will always support you and help you. They basically give you permission to be human. To fail and fall and to get back up again and keep trying. That is what it is all about. Constantly working at it. It will never be easy but it is worth doing. I love how they have that posted. It makes me feel like I'm not being judged. They were super nice at that office too so I am looking forward to going back more often. I don't want to say I disliked my last doctor, but I feel like she didn't have much time for me.
My life will be changing for the better and it has already started. I have been testing my blood sugar more often and also, I started a new medication - Symlin. This has already helped my blood sugar control and I am still on the lowest dose and will probably move up in the dose which will help me even more. I am probably going to be getting an insulin pump which will also help. I am the most excited about that and will hopefully have one within a few months. The doctor wants me to work on being in better control first and then I should be able to get a pump.
I am ready for life to change, to be better. I have to make the choice. I have to choose to be healthy and happy and to take care of myself. I only have one life and one body and should not take it for granted.
This feels weird to say, but I feel like this is a major journey I am on and it feels new in some ways and old in others. I am just going to do my best and forget the rest (borrowed that one from Tony Horton). Wish me luck with my journey!
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